Thursday, September 25, 2008

Mum..

I am the luckiest child in this world, this is what Mum used to tell me when I was 5 years old. I don’t actually know my date of birth but my birthday is celebrated on March 15, date on which I was left at the gate of St. Joseph orphanage. Mum took me in and from then on, St. Joseph was my home.

Mum was among one of the caretakers in St. Joseph. She was full of love, ever smiling lady but she very well knew how to handle kids, when to love them and when to be strict with them. Every child used to love her and call her ma’m but the first word which I uttered was “mum”. She was the world for me. When I used to have some fights with other kids, she used to come to rescue me. She used to take me out for walks. I was an adamant kid but she used to try to grant me my every wish. She came with me on the first day of my school. She held my hand when I wrote my first alphabet. She used to teach me my rhymes. She is the whole and sole person behind what I’m today.

I’m working as a nurse in a trust hospital. It’s a big hospital and I don’t really know how many people work here and how many patients come here daily, but life now is very different than what it had been in St. Joseph. I’m independent now and this is what mum always wanted me to achieve. I’m happy with my life but I miss mum and I miss her terribly. Sometimes, I just wonder how beautiful my life would have been if she is with me. When I see some girl with her mom, I feel jealous. I remember my childhood days when she used to be beside me and I could run up to her for any problem, howsoever stupid it be.

She left St. Joseph when I was 13, rather she was fired, not because she was not doing her duty properly but because being genuinely concerned for kids, she strained her relationship with the manager. It was a huge loss for me. I remember I didn’t eat for 2 days. It really hurt me when she left because she was not my caretaker, not my ma’m, she was my mother, my mum. I used to pray to God to send her back but she never came back. After few days, I also realized the fact that she is never going to come back and I have to carry on my studies properly. She always used to say that I need to study hard to be able to stand on my feet. So, I studied, did nurse training and with my efforts, got a decent job also.


It was the usual day at work. I was assisting Dr. Mishra who is a dialysis expert. He was putting an old woman on dialysis. She was very weak and pale but her eyes were showing kindness & love. I felt as if I have seen this woman before. I kept thinking for a minute or two about where I had seen this woman. Then, suddenly it occurred to me that this woman is none other than my ‘mum’. All these years, I had been praying to meet her and now when my prayers are answered, she is bedridden and hospitalized. I was doing my duty but there were so many questions in my mind. Will she recognize me? Who brought her here? Are there any relatives of her?

A teenaged girl and a middle-aged man had brought her to hospital. When I enquired them, I came to know that Asha(the girl’s name) stays with mum and call her ‘amma’.. I didn’t enquire further how is she related to her. Mum was going to stay in hospital for a week. Though I felt very bad to found mum in such bad state but a part of me was happy to found her after all these years.

I went on for rounds to see other patients, but my heart was with ‘mum’..I felt like going to her bed again and again. Finally, when my duty was over, I went to see her. She was talking to Asha that time. She looked at me and smiled. I was hoping that she would recognize me. But I knew that was too much to ask for. How could someone recognize a person whom they have met some 9-10 years ago. I asked her how is she feeling and then we started chatting casually. I asked her where she lived. I could no longer hold myself to not to tell her that I know her from so many years. After all, she was the only person in this world whom I had loved and loved so dearly.

I told her that my name is ‘Riya’ and to my disbelief she started telling that once she knew a girl also named ‘Riya’ in St. Joseph orphanage where she had worked for some good 15 years of her life. I just could not believe that she still remembers me and with tears in my eyes, I told her that I’m the same girl - ‘Riya’. I hugged her and felt so loved and protected in her arms. I had finally found what I had been searching ever since I had stepped out in the real world. I used to look up to every elderly woman, while going in buses, in shops, in markets, in churches, in temples with one hope and prayer that Please God, let me meet my mum once.

I stayed in the hospital that day and anyways, who was waiting for me at home? Asha also stayed. I asked about Asha, whether she is related to mum in any way. It turned out that she was also an orphan before she met mum and now mum is her world too. She was in 9th grade.

Mum’s condition was bad. Both her kidneys had stopped functioning. Dr. Mishra kept her on dialysis for two weeks and he told me that she could only survive after kidney transplant. Kidney transplant operation was something that I knew we could not afford. I thought even if I donate one of my kidneys, the operation and the postoperative care will take around 1.5 lakhs. Thankfully, last year, I had done the medical insurance for myself. But there was one problem in that also, she was not my mother. So, I could not claim for the expenditure of her operation. I discussed this issue with Dr. Mishra. It was he who suggested that mum can adopt me and then I can legally claim for her operation. I was so caught up with tensions that this option didn’t come in my mind. I was thinking of taking personal loan but personal loan interests were high and to meet them with my meager salary would have been tough.

Dr. Mishra is very respectable doctor of our hospital. He is an old charismatic fellow, very loving, sensitive, caring and an expert. It was again Dr. Mishra who sent me to one of his lawyer friend Mr. R.K. Gupta who helped us in preparing adoption papers. Somehow, I was very happy about the adoption idea, because then, mum would legally become my mother. I would really be her daughter..wow :)

With the help of Dr. Mishra and Mr. Gupta, we quickly finished the adoption process and then mum was operated and she became all right within a month with one of my kidney working properly for her. I started living with her and Asha.

It is like dream coming true for me. I have a family now. My life is suddenly filled with hopes and desires, not only for myself but for my mum and my sister also. I pray daily for the well being of my family and one more thing, I don’t feel jealous anymore, when I see a girl with her mother. :)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

One More Time

Its been almost 5 years since Aditya has come to Florida, US..He wanted to be away from every little thing which used to make him remember Diya..he could not stay in Delhi..because wherever he went, the restaurants, the theatres, the markets, the places they used to visit, he used to miss Diya..
he wanted to forget her but she was the part of his own self..he could not forget her even for a day, an hour or a minute..his parents had left hope for the marriage of their only son..its been more than 2 years..2 years, 2 months to be precise, since he had gone back to his home, to meet ma & pa..but he called them daily..

He has to catch flight tomorrow for India..There is a new person in his home, in his family whom he does not know and who has managed to develop a strong faith in his ma & pa's heart..he has to meet that person..he just can't let someone live so easily with his aging parents..u can't trust ur own relatives these days..trusting a complete stranger was just unthinkable for him..a woman who was found by her papa on the sea beach..how can they let somebody to stay with them..Her name was Mrida..He didn't like the name also..what kind of name it is, he thought..This woman, Mrida..she had not told anything about her, about her background, which religion she belong to, from where she belongs to..it seems she lost her memories, her identity in the sea..she was found unconscious on beach by his pa..pa saved her life by immediately rushing her to hospital..pa had said over phone that there was something about her, the innocence of her face that had made him to take her to their home..he can't let a young vulnerable woman go somewhere when she does not even know her name..

Ma also seems to be equally fond of her..Ma & pa always wanted a daughter and she kind of filled the vaccum in their life which is created after he shifted to US..They have denied to come there..For Ma, mrida was a perfect companion, a friend and a daughter, she cooks well..she takes care of health of both ma and pa..she is good natured, sweet girl..the kind of girl, ma had always wanted as her daughter-in-law..But all these seemed very fake to Aditya..what if she is a liar and she is playing some game with his parents..he was not at all convinced..ma and pa are being too generous and generosity could cost u a lot these days, he thought..Ma had told him that she was very pale and shocked for many days..she didn't used to talk, but slowly, under ma & pa's care, she revived her strength..she herself named her 'Mrida'..Though pa didn't like that name at first..but when she persisted, he gave in..As far as ma was concerned, it does not matter for her what do u call her..she was a daughter for her now.

Aditya's flight landed at 1.00 AM..Though Pa had said that he'll come to receive him at airport but he has denied..He took a cab from airport & started for home..he was feeling good, seeing all the familiar roads leading to his home..he felt as if everyone, everyone means every other person whom he was meeting, be it cab driver, operator at prepaid taxi stand, is glad to have him back now..he reached home at 2.00 am.. he pressed the door bell...pa opened the door..he bent to touch his feet..pa stopped him in between and gave him a beary hug..it was kind of a hug, he received when he had topped the school in his board exams..he loved it at that time and he loved it this time as well..it was good to be home..Ma also hugged him & planted kisses all over his face..then she called Mrida who was in the kitchen, warming all curries, dal & rice for him..

When Mrida came in hall to meet Aditya, aditya just went blank..he could not even say 'hi' to her..Mrida said 'hi' to Aditya..Aditya replied weakly..he did not remember what all ma/pa/mrida was saying after that..he ate & went to sleep..he was tired after such a long journey..but how could he sleep now? he was lost in his own thoughts..It was like someone from his past is alive again..all these years, he had remembered Diya as someone who has gone too far, someone who is unreachable, someone who'll not come back again..he never tried to call her/reach her, even in the times, he missed her like hell..but he just could not get over the face, voice and those big expressive eyes of Mrida..all so closely resembling Diya..

He remembered the day, he first saw Diya, he was stumped by her beauty..she was among the freshers, rushing here and there for the registration..he felt spellbound just by looking at her..he kept on looking at her until his friends called him..being one of the voulnteer, he helped Diya in the registration process..It was the start of their friendship..He was is in his final year but in the span of one year, they became good friends..After classes, they used to spend almost all of their time together ..They used to go to movies, markets, theatres on weekends..Even after he finished his studies, they continued meeting and everytime he felt his love growing deeper..Diya was oblivious to his painful unsaid feelings..He loved spending time with her & everytime, he wanted it more & longer but he never said anything to Diya..because Diya had already told him that after her studies, she will marry Jay, son of his father's friend and her childhood friend..Jay's family was among the rich and influential people of Nainital, like Diya's family..

Diya was the most pampered girl, he has ever met and yet, she was not fuzzy, not pompous..her manners were natural, down to earth, innocent and childlike..This was the first time when she was staying away from her home, from her parents..She was the princess of Mr. Roy, Diya's father who was a very successful businessman..They had 2 hotels in Nanital..Diya was intelligent & smart, besides being extremely beautiful..She got admission in engineering in Delhi..her parents didn't want her to go to a different city for studies..but when she persisted, they gave in..but they told Diya that she has to marry Jay..Diya didn't have any problems marrying Jay..she has known him from childhood..

Time really has wings..4 years passed like 4 months for Aditya..all these years, he had company of Diya..he can talk to her, meet her..but it was time for her to go back now..her marriage has been finalized..Aditya always knew that sooner or later, this will come..but still he could not take it..he loved Diya so truely that he could not bear the pain and agony of the seperation and ended up telling everything to Diya, feelings which were there from last 4 years, he could not suppress it anymore..Diya was shocked after listening to Aditya..she didn't say anything and she left..later she called Aditya to tell him that they should not talk now..

There was a change in her behaviour since the day Aditya has told her abt his feelings..Aditya had stopped talking to her(she herself asked Aditya, not to call her)..she had started struggling with her own feelings..she had started missing him..he was everywhere..in her dreams..in her thoughts..the more she tried to not to think about him, the more she found herself thinking abt him..but she knew that its too late..and after few days, she got married to Jay..and after 2 months of her marriage, Aditya came to Florida..to make himself far from Diya and her memories..

But even today, Diya is the one and only one who rules his heart..and after seeing Mrida, he could feel his love/his feelings overwhelming him again..Mrida does not closely resemble Diya, its Diya, in his own house, living with his parents like their own daughter..

Their paths have crossed again, after so many years and in such a weird way..Diya does not remember anything..may be, becoz she has not met anyone from her past after her accident..he knew, she will be able to recall everything if he helped her, if he tells her about her college life, her parents, her home and ofcourse, her marriage..For a minute, Aditya was tempted to not tell her anything because if she remembers everything, she'll not stay at their place.she'll go bck to his family..Aditya does not want to lose her again..what if, she does not remember anything..she is still his Diya..he can't let her go again..but a part of his heart was saying that he has to help her..and finally that part succeeded..he decided to tell Mrida about her real name and real identity..Finally, he was able to sleep..

Next morning, he got up late. Ma and Mrida had gone to local market for shopping and buying groceries..he went in pa's room and told him about Mrida..it was late in the noon, when ma & mrida returned..they ate lunch together..everyone was little quiet except ma, who was extremely delighted becoz of his presence..mrida was not as carefree while talking as she was yesternite..she was stealing glances to look at aditya as if she was trying to recollect whether she has met him earlier, whether she knows him..then ma and pa went for their afternoon nap..she stayed in the hall, pretending she is reading a novel, though her mind was occupied in figuring out whether she knows him or not..Aditya came in hall and started talking to her casually..he knew, he need to tell her but he has still not figured out where to start with..he calmly told her that he knows her, that she was a junior to him in college, that her paternal home is in Nainital and that her name is 'Diya'..As expected, she remembered everything, and she started crying badly..pa had stopped ma to go in hall to check what's happening..aditya had to really make an effort to calm her..she was crying vigorously in his arms and muttering, my Adi, how is my Adi, where is my Adi..

Finally when she calmed down a little, aditya asked him, who is adi and how this accident happened? she told him that they had come for a vacation in Mumbai, she, jay and their 1.5 year old son, Adi..they decided to stay in Alibaug for two days..she was strolling with her kid near the beach..Adi loves to play in water but she was holding his hand tightly..but suddenly a huge wave separated her from her child and before she could realize what has happened..she saw, Adi going deeper in sea with waves..she ran & grabbed adi, but suddenly, one more huge wave came, she lost balance, she didn't know what to do..with all her force, she has thrown adi towards beach..and after that she does not know, what has happened..Aditya asked the obvious question, where was Jay when all this was happening..Last time, when she had seen him, he was on a call and was quite at a distance from them..It was his habit to keep walking while talking over phone..and before he could do anything, he had lost his wife..Diya was uncontrollable again..she again started crying..ma and pa had also come down to hall now..ma consoled her, pa asked Aditya to arrange tckts to go to Nainital..he asked Diya if she remembers any telephone nos. so that they can inform her family. Diya was unable to recollect any of the telephone numbers..

Aditya booked 3 tckts for Delhi(nearest airport to Nainital), for pa, diya and himself..From delhi, they took a cab..It was late in the night when they reached Nainital..Diya wanted to go to Jay's house first, she was very worried for Adi..but pa decided against her wishes and asked her to tell the way to her parents house..they pressed the door bell..Diya's mom opened the door..she was so shocked to see Diya, she could not say anything for smtime, she just hugged her tightly and started crying..those were tears of joy, mixed with the pain she has
suffered at the loss of her daughter..Mr. Roy also could not believe it for sometime, that his princess is standing in front of his eyes..He took all of them to drawing room..they started chating..pa started praising diya and diya told his parents, how ma and pa had cared for her..how they saved her life and kept her like their daughter..diya's parents were so thankful, they were struggling to find right words to express their gratitude for ma & pa..

Then Diya asked about Jay and Adi..Diya's mother's face expression suddenly changed, she was about to say something, but Mr. Roy intervened in between and said that everything is fine since she is back now, and they should rest now, as everyone is tired..but Diya wanted to talk to Jay and Adi..she wanted to ensure that everything is alright..she came to her room, checked out the number from telephone diary and called at Jay's home..An unfamiliar female voice responded at other end, she asked for Jay..Jay could not believe that he is talking to Diya..he asked her if she is ok..where were she till now etc etc..Diya asked about Adi..how is he doing?..Then, the silence and a squeal..Jay told her that they lost their son in that accident..Diya was almost mad with shock..she started shouting and crying..everyone rushed to her room and tried everything possible to calm her but she was uncontrollable..after sometime, Jay also came..he hugged her, she kept on crying and crying in his arms..

It took her a month to absorb all what has happened in last 2 years after that accident..she lost her son apart from her identity in those 2 years..pa had never told her that she was in coma for 6 months after he has found her..all she knew was that it took her 3 months to recover physically, though actually it was 9 months..her husband got remarried..he has a new family now and he is going to be a father again in few months..suddenly she was all alone..Aditya had come back to Mumbai after leaving Diya at her parents house, though his heart was there in Nainital..he was extremely worried for her..he knew, she needs him but he also knew that she needed time, more than anything else to come out of all the pains she has suffered in last few days..After 10 days, Aditya went back to US but he called her daily..Ma & Pa used to call quite often from Mumbai..

Four months have passed since Diya came back to Nainital..Aditya planned to come to India again for Diwali, and for Diya..Diwali, being the favorite festival for Diya..He told his parents about his decision..his parents have always supported him and this time also, they backed him..he just can't see diya suffer..though diya has accepted the reality of her life, still, she was not okay..she has forgotten to smile..he just can't let that happen..He went to Nainital, this time alone..He proposed her for marriage..He told that he still loves her as truly, as passionately, as he used to love her, 5 years ago..Diya was shocked again..she needed time to think..it was true that she also loved him once..but she has been through such turmoil that she has forgotten that she loved somebody from her whole heart, that she missed somebody like hell, that she prayed secretly to be with him in her next life..Diya's parents didn't say anything..they wanted her to decide this time..

It was the morning of Diwali..Diya woke up really early that day..she woke up Aditya also..and asked him to come for a walk with her..They walked around the lake and there, watching the sun rising from the lake, Diya told him that her answer is 'yes'.